Jenny Slate's Obvious Child is the abortion narrative cinema has been lacking
Unh Unh Her
I may never fully appreciate the Christmas spirit, but I can help you get some perspective on yours.
Some say it’s good, some say it’s bad, but nobody says it’s great.
‘The only thing better than seeing a kung fu master somehow manage to combine parkour with decapitation is watching the severed head explode, gruesomely, in a mix of what is clearly food-dyed oatmeal and Hawaiian Punch.’
The sugar-cookie high is starting to fade, and Uncle Marty’s drunken sex-life questions are only just beginning: Face it, if you’re going to make it through the rest of this holiday, you’re going to need some help.
Some deadly, deadly help.
10.) Enter the Dragon: Holidays are all about tradition, so I’m kicking off the list with one of Bruce Lee’s best. What could be better than a movie starring the grand-daddy of ass kickers? One that’s spiced with a dash of blaxploitation.
9.) Pray For Death: I’m sure I don’t have repeat the old truism, “you never know a ninja’s true strength until he moves his family to a depressed city in America, is threatened by a local crime syndicate, and, in order to avenge the wrongs done to him, goes back to his secret ninja teaching.”
Not ringing a bell? Then clearly you need to brush up on your Pray For Death.
8.) Supercop: Sometimes, when my mind is clouded with visions of Rush Hour 3 and the Jaden Smith Karate Kid, I forget that Jackie Chan is more than just a genial sidekick: He’s really, really awesome at kung fu.
Luckily, Supercop, packed with fight scenes, explosions, helicopter rides of death, and vaguely Kim Jong Il-looking military leaders reminds me why I loved him – and Michelle Yeoh – in the first place.
7.) Detective Dee and the Mystery of the Phantom Flame: Full disclosure: Detective Dee isn’t super-heavy on the fight scenes. But the ample doses of albino henchmen, underground hermit cave-cities, and spontaneous human combustion more than make up for that little oversight.
Fuller disclosure: if that’s not enough to make you want to watch Detective Dee, I don’t want to know you.
6.) Goemon: The story of a Japanese Robin Hood out for vengeance, Goemon has some of the best fight scenes of any movie on this list.
Though the dubbing is pretty terrible, and some of the flying-through-the-air ...